Thank you sir, may I have another

Life has been a steady climb in the past few months... moving higher up the ladder i always knew existed, just never knew where to find it... all the joys in life have been fortuitously cast in my direction. I'd like to think it has been the fruits of my labor's for the past few years. Once I hit 30 I really got a grip on life and woke up out of my comfort zone to do something to make something to create something. A stale relationship pushed me into a passion fueled craze of investing time into myself which is something I have never really done. I feel like the past 5 years I have been working in a lab, and am finally opening the door to my room, and realizing what sunlight is again... everything is new. everything is how i'd imagined it.

I often tell myself and others to " embrace the struggle ". I know in today's world that is a foreign concept. It seems as if old world ideologies, the core existance of beings is somewhat tarnished and gone. So why, If I speaketh this mantra, am I having such a hard time with it? More times then not, I battle the headwind of struggle face forward. In the past few days I have embraced it as much as when my aunt used to want to give me a hug. If you knew my aunt, you'd understand. The talking two inches from your face with cokebottle glasses that only protected herself from the spit she was casting due to the proximity of her face to hers. You would leave a conversation as if you had just walked out of the shower.

So I wonder. Is it in the rough times when one finds their true strength? Is it when you feel you are at the brink of disaster, and you see the demons in your life, that you come to terms with life and its ills and either make it or break it?

I find myself analyzing things 

 as if I am in a room full of sleeping dogs and im dressed like this guy hopped up on red bull.

late bloomer

sometimes it takes me awhile to catch onto things. a long while. my life has been monotonous at times, willingly imprisoning myself in my room... which jockeyed itself between fortress of solitude and 4 walls of metaphorical mirrors, showing me sides of myself i'd rather not see. What amazes me is the door was unlocked. i willingly kept myself in here for so long... even in my old place i did the same thing... now i feel as if time is a changin'. Someone has taken kindly to show me the side of things I havent had the where with all to do on my own. I feel almost indebted to this person for helping me let go of all I knew and allowing me to see the things I always knew to exist, just didnt know where they resided.'

thank you.

on the cusp of something wonderful

I feel as if i am standing in front of my future

I look behind me and see everywhere I have been

the echo of voices reverberate in my head

opinions hang in the walls of my mind like paintings

wherever I move , eyes are always following me

There is a different feeling this time

I dont know what to make of it

I feel there is a quiet innocence before me

unmarred by the ills of the world

It is a  landscape set before me

that I want burned into memory

as always being this beautiful

I know in time

my eyes that view this will change

and the body holding me up will grow weary

but i will fight that off as long as possible to 

remember where I am now and what led

me to what i am seeing now

I hope I can give creedence 

and do justice by what is set before me

because I know not everyone 

can see a landscape like this